inner child press

$17.95

about the  Author

I always felt a sense of being broken. A puzzle piece that never fit anywhere. I was adopted at a young age. After spending sometime in foster care. There was allot of psychological damage done early on. Yet it was in those beginning years of neglect I became a fighter. I have always had a good strong hold on my emotions and have always even in my quietest moments been good at expressions of all sorts.

When I was younger I would make radio shows with my sister and her friends . We would record them on tapes and play them back. Those moments where the few times I laughed.

I was exposed to writing at a young age. My mother was a preschool teacher and often took her work home with her. By the time I went to school I was bright . I also remember always loving art. My favorite show was Reading Rainbow, my first journey into escapism. I found no matter how scary the world was, if I had a book in my hand I was safe. 

I began writing at the age of 10 short stories and letters to people who hurt me. I never could handle confrontation . So I began writing how I felt in letters , I never sent. I just stashed them in notebooks under my mattress. Those letters eventually turned into poems and I have my second grade teacher Mrs. Ober to thank for that.

No matter how much chaos or danger I was in I had one safe place to turn too.

 My young adult years where the toughest . i fought with addictions of all sorts and alcoholism . I spent many years running allover the country trying to escape my problems . Instead of writing it out. I became very sick. Withdrawn and suffered severely from social anxiety.

I still wrote just not as much . There where suicide attempts and allot of guilt. Amidst the storms several loved ones died. Including my mom who I had a very damaging relationship with. I kept running . I kept avoiding everything I held inside. The secret world I had created had gotten very small. The walls where closing in and I was stuck.

At 25 I was diagnosed with bipolar , borderline personality disorder and PTSD. I had my first mental breakdown and finally admitted to self injuring. As well as admitted myself to the hospital the first time with 250 self induced scars .

The whole time I was dealing with all of this chaos I thought I was alone. Yet during my last suicide attempt over three years ago something awoke inside of me.

I felt an urgency to write everything out . I got interested in spoken word which became a release an exorcism of the demons I held onto. I became a online radio host and as I began to share my story I realized finally I didn't need to fit in. Some of us are meant to stand out. I can help my community. I have been blessed with enough life experience to fill a few books. Yet my happiness , my nirvana is creating. 

I may still feel broken but there is allot more light now . I am capable of so much . Writing has just given me the power to stop hiding and running. I have found a home where the paper and pens never run out. 

This is who I am and every damaged and whole piece is fabulous. I am really amazed at who I have become. I know all those who I have lost along the way are proud too. I hope to continue to be able to grow as I continue to explore my recovery through my words.