inner child press

Preface

Before the Dawn has been lingering inside of me for many years; as I have always written. Essays, Poems, Short Stories, and Thoughts that mostly I was unable to share or express in any other way besides writing them down. This collection of thoughts & poems comes from that place just before the dawn. A dark place mostly I'd venture to say. It's a collection of memories, theories, and observations of all I have encountered in this dark place up until now. There is certainly a sense of majesty if one has the where with all to encounter the dawn, and experience that dark, quiet place it provides just before the sun comes up and brightens not only the earth, but our countenances as human beings.

Over the years I have trained myself to rise early, and embrace this place; this darkness and calm. Often times I consecrate these early morning hours to writing, and studying. Most of the luxuries, and many of the so called comforts in life are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances not only to our own development, but to the development of mankind in it's entire. I have lived a life mostly clouded in darkness, and clinging to despair as a sort of off beat strength, understood by no one including myself. This darkness became very visible to those around me earlier on in my life, while I let false pride and anger cloud everything. This anger; this torment if you will you shall encounter within the pages of this work. I'd hope it serves as a source of empowerment, and provides any one who reads this work a bit of awareness, and power to move through life a giver.

When I was very young I had an uncle who was one of very few who knew my passion; or almost need to write things down. He would teasingly call me a poet, and tell me that all poets are poor. He'd say, "boy you are going to be a broke ass poet, but that's o.k. I think you have got a story to tell so tell it; don't hide it, tell it..."

I smile inside when I recall him and his teasing, and today joyfully I think he may have been correct. I have found that sometimes the very nature of this art is absolutely lonely. Before the dawn delves into this loneliness, and despair with an unending will to persevere and to triumph. Before the dawn is complete with a street vernacular and attitude some will maybe have to have translated. Throughout the entirety of this en devour of mine to bring the darkness to the light; you shall encounter faith, and hope, and love. Love for people even in darkness, hope for the survival of humanity, and consciousness, and faith in the life giving power of the ALMIGHTY.

It seems I have traveled a million miles in one second on the one hand, and one the other it seems as if the million miles have taken a million years! I've felt the wings on the winds of madness, and I have also succumb to the gentle breeze of tranquility. I have found that life more than anything is a balancing act of compassion coupled with it's opposite, and we must be wary not to fall by the wayside of violence, and intemperance for others. B 4 the Dawn has a distinct autobiographical tempo and tenor at the core. It is a journey down through plush valleys, up over rugged mountains, scaling dreadful cliffs, and it also delves darkly at times into a very depressed state where this Darkness is very visible.

I often dream of the times I hear people speak of today when poets would sit around a table and rap into the twilight about departed souls, and the night, and the sunshine, and a cloudy dream where peace reigns listening to music, and really being alive. Innocent times if such a thing really ever existed. If so I believe this world lost it's innocence long before I came to be. I believe if the world was ever; at any time in balance and harmony that today, sadly it is wildly off kilter. I have personally spent the majority of my life all alone in the teeming crowd, desperately searching for an identity to cling to. I painstakingly thought this was the way I would uncover this darkness and poke through the other side of the chasm into the light. Always a lost seeker somehow drowning inside the invented common identity.

Before the Dawn I like now; was always a secret dreamer, but I willingly placed a revolver inside the pocket of my heart which extinguished any trace of light. I have since been able to greet solitude as a friend, and build a comfortable place for my soul to be at ease and at peace there. Amazingly I am never alone! I believe I can see traces of light up ahead where the dawn inside of me is beginning to arise while the poem of creation remains uninterrupted before this dawn and on into the next...

June Barefield 

aka

June Bug